One of my all time favorite quotes, is from the book “Kafka on the Shore” by Haruki Murakami.
And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.
When I first read this quote, it was on a Facebook post, and It sparked something in me. I can’t explain why, but it resonated with me in such a way that I absolutely had to find out who wrote it. So I googled the author, found the book, reserved it from my local library, and picked it up as soon as it came in.
The quote was in the opening chapter, which started with a conversation between a young fifteen year old boy plotting to run away from home, and his friend, who was guiding him through a ghostly visualization, portraying life as a sand storm.
Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.
I was spellbound as the words sucked me in, and I could visualize myself in that storm, eyes closed, facing life head on, accepting whatever lay before me, because that is all you can do, is to keep moving forward, there is no turning back, not ever. And all that noise and chaos surrounding us, that is life, and it can get tough, but if we want to survive, we have no choice but to keep moving forward, we have to just keep walking through it, because if we let it get to us, it will eat us alive and it will break us.
To my surprise, the book was unlike anything I had ever read. I felt like I was in a drug induced psychedelic masterpiece. It literally had my head spinning with the back and forth of dual worlds, talking cats, and colorful eccentric characters.
I have a hard time comprehending anything that doesn’t hold my feet to the ground, so this wasn’t an easy read for me, however, my curiosity held me to the very end, and in an odd way, I found comfort in the haze of perplexity, because at the time, It was an escape from the storm I was living through.
After finding and exploring the source of my treasured quote, I printed it out and pinned it above my desk, and referred to it over and over, again and again, reminding myself, it’s all good, it’s just a storm, just keep moving forward, you’ll get through this.
There is not a single human being in the world who hasn’t experienced storms in their lives, we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t.
The storm doesn’t necessarily have to be a tragic event. It could be that knot in our stomach before taking a test, or a disagreement with a friend or a loved one. The storm is anything that internally causes us to feel pain, anxiety, fear and grief.
Storms are a part of us, they make us who we are. We look back on them and learn from them, and that makes us wiser and stronger and gives us courage to face the next one.
But storms also have the power to change us, harden us, and if we are not careful, they can break us.
So how do we stormproof our lives, so that we don’t succumb to the overwhelming power of those bigger storms that may cross our path?
Here are seven stormproofing tips to help prepare for and weather the storms that may come your way:
- Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is good in so many ways, it not only provides a mental reprieve from the noise in the world and gives us a place to escape to, it helps us stay focused throughout the day, making everything we do a bit safer. It also helps us be more perceptive of the people in our lives. We see them and hear them and are more attuned to their feelings, which helps to keep our relationships strong. - Be honest with yourself
If there is something in our life that we are uncomfortable with, pretending it doesn’t exist will not make it go away. We can try ignoring it, or numbing the pain with various distractions or substances, but our subconscious mind is ever awake. It sees and hears everything we do and there is nowhere to hide. The more we try to block something out, the more it will push to the surface, and eventually, it will break through, showing up as pain, illnesses, anxiety or stress. To prevent those bigger storms from brewing, It pays to take time to do a little soul searching and face what we have been trying to tuck away. - Learn to forgive
Holding onto a grudge is like living with constipation and inviting the storm to grow within. The shit keeps building up inside, and as we continue to feed it and carry it around with us, it builds up until we feel like we are going to explode, and the only way to find relief, is to let it all out. You know that feeling after we finally relieve ourselves, where we feel ten times lighter, that is what forgiveness feels like. Learning to forgive, is healing and attracts more sunshine than it does rain. - Cultivate a life of gratitude
With gratitude, we are able to better put our life into perspective, what we once may have perceived as a devastating hurricane about to upheave our life, may actually be a small rainstorm, with just enough rain to dust things off and start anew. You know that feeling of closing your eyes and feeling the warmth of the sun kiss your face, or the scent of the earth and the breath of fresh air after a spring shower, or seeing a double rainbow after a storm. That is the feeling of gratefulness, and it can bring light into even the darkest of storms. - Know where to find support
When things happen, it is important to know who we trust to reach out to in those difficult times when we are hurt and vulnerable. We don’t want to shut people out, but we do want to be confident that those we turn to have the ability to lift us up, both mentally and spiritually. It also helps to be aware of other resources available, such as a company sponsored employee assistance program that offers free counseling, or services that may be available through your medical plan or organizations offering free assistance such as “The Crisis TextLine”. Knowing who to turn to in trying times, makes it that much easier to reach out. - Practice self-care
Learning to be kind to ourselves mentally and physically can help to ward off pain, illness, anxiety and stress. We do this by treating ourselves like we would our BFF. We start by eliminating negative self-talk and opting for words of comfort, encouragement and love.
“You are smart” “you’ve got this” “It will get better” “I believe in you” “you look amazing” “just keep picturing it, you’ll get there” All the words we want most to hear, we have the power to say them to ourselves. We can look for ways to nourish our bodies with healthy food and finding exercises that we love and can commit to. We can bask in the sunshine, breathe in fresh air and learn to appreciate the world around us. And we can find ways to feed our spirit, by listening to music that soothes our soul, immersing ourselves in creativity, or getting lost in a book that takes on a journey worlds away. Practicing self-care builds us up, makes us strong and gives us the courage we need to face and get through those incredibly tough times. - Learn to embrace change
Sometimes a storm changes the course of our lives, and if that happens, we have a choice, we can fight it, let it break us, or we can embrace it and move on. At times, it may seem too much to bear, and this is where we will most need to find loving support and practice gratitude, forgivness and self-care. My parents faced a horrific storm early in their life together. Our home burnt to the ground and I lost a nine month old baby sister. I was five at the time and my younger sister was two. A tragedy that could have absolutely broken my mother. But, instead of breaking her, she turned to her faith and the outpouring of love and comfort from family and friends, and she just kept moving forward, taking one day at a time. Looking back, I remember telling my mother how grateful I was that she didn’t let the tragedy break her. As hard as it was for her, she found the strength and the courage to show up in our lives and be there for us and to make us feel loved. I will forever be grateful to her for that. By embracing change no matter how difficult it may seem, somewhere in the chaos and disarray, we will find light, it may be just a tiny ray of light that peaks in through the clouds, but we will see light, and it will be enough to help us find our way. We only need to find the strength, the will, and the courage to open up our heart and let it shine in.
Be well my friends,
The power is in you to weather the storm and find joy!
Deborah